Me too

To The Man Who Assaulted Me,

Here I am sitting here years after the incident first took place writing my Me Too⁠. I'm not writing this for pity, but also ⁠not because I want too, this is because I need too. My story may not be because of rape, but it is about assault. It needs to be heard. It needs to be said out loud.

A few weeks ago I came face to face with the man who assaulted me. I found myself waiting in the same waiting room as him and I completely froze. I could feel myself tensing up, the fear was deep inside me as I sat there watching him interacting with my dad.

I remember thinking to myself "there he is right in front of me." Now is your time to confront him about everything he ever did and said to me, but instead I just sat back and watched him from the chair across from where he was sitting. I watched him as he talked to my dad with no hesitation. 

I felt myself starting to tremble. I wanted to cry. I needed to escape. I started panicking. My stomach was in knots. I needed to run out of that room, but instead I was quiet. That's all I could do. I stayed quiet. He was there in front of me and I just watched him. I watched his sleazy expressions spread across his face as he spoke.  

It had been a few years since we last were face to face. It all started the summer of 2014 at the local swimming pool in my home town where he was a lifeguard and he was always the only one on duty. It was a very hot day and everyone was in bathing suits. Including myself.

Thinking about it now, I was not the only one who was assaulted by him. My friend was cat-called and harassed by him and during this time she was only a sophomore in high school on the swim-team. 

The day I heard that he was arrested and taken away in a police car, I was glad. I was glad that he was not going to be around anymore. He was put on parole because there was no evidence of assault, but he was no longer aloud to be a lifeguard at the public swimming pools anymore after that. 

The year was 2014 and I’m just now saying this out loud. I was 21 years old and he was a 45 year old with children my age! This post has nothing to do about pity. It’s about anger. It’s about trigger. It’s about becoming stronger then who you started off before the assault.

My experience isn’t about rape, but it is about assault and how I see people’s stories and how they make me feel. I am a victim and a survivor of assault and this is my #MeToo⁠.

Sincerely yours, 
The Girl You Assulted