Some say it was your heart, but others say it was an accidental overdose, but all I know is whatever happened God took you away way too soon. You were my best friend, my person and my soul sister.
There was no note when you died because you died in your sleep on that chilly Febuary morning. We promised each other that summer we would meet for the first time face to face. You would come here or I would go there. Whichever you picked. I never found out which one you decided on because you died later that week.
We would talk on FaceTime for literally hours and hours listening to MeWithoutYou while you painted. You made me laugh every time you would sing a high-pitched note because you couldn't reach that high when you sang.
Our saying was from from The Fault in Our Stars. Do you remember it? It was when Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace Lancaster were texting and they said "Okay? Okay." You and I would joke around and promised each other that when we met we would get "married" because we were practically already "engaged." You had bought us promise rings. Our promise rings were engraved with that silly saying of ours "Okay. Okay?" From TFIOS.
The morning I found out you were gone I felt like I had been hit by a train. I had a lump in my throat and I was completely numb. I couldn't cry. I was dead inside. I couldn't breathe. I was heartbroken. I eventually broke down. I couldn't stop. I cried for days, weeks and even months. Years later I still cry at the worst possible times.
Did I ever tell you about the very first time I broke down and cried? I was in one of my college classes and I was sitting next to a close guy friend of mine and he looked over at me and something triggered me and thats when I knew I was about to lose it. It was months after you died and I just knew deep in my gut I would cry in the most random, in public place I could think of..... I got up out of my chair and I ran up the stairs and out of the classroom. I couldn't breathe. Thankfully my classroom was the closest to the exit to outside because I knew I couldn't be inside that building. The bench that sat outside was the only thing I remember after that. I cried so hard that day. It was a Wednesday.
Today is your 4 year anniversary and I'm sitting here listening to our song on repeat as I am writing you this letter.
Baby girl, you are forever and always will be my number one girl. I promise you that one day we will meet in heaven. You are my world, my guardian angel and my person. I love you.
Rest in paradise. Febuary 26, 2015 ♥️